WE ARE NOT WORTHY!

I have not been preachy to everyone in a while so you had better stop now if you don't want to hear me!

Now that Traci and I have a house that is complete on the inside (for the first time in 20 years) we have time to think about how God has blessed us so much more than we deserve. We are approaching our 39th anniversary this weekend and have never been more in love.

The things that are problems today seem insignificant when compared to our first 38 years together. When Traci and I first started dating, we had jobs that would barely feed us much less have luxuries in life.

When we first started dating, I knew she was my other half!. I knew I had to get myself in a better financial situation so we could afford an apartment. At that time, west Texas was in an oil boom like it recently experienced and there was no place to live, none!

We were in love and we knew we had to get married because we were raised in religious households and if you were in love, you got married. I still believe that today. I believe when you meet the right mate, you know it, period. I knew Traci was my gal on the first date, really, I did! I didn’t wait long to ask her to marry me. It was actually on our third date. I know that sounds crazy to some of you but, WE KNEW!! She completed me. Those of you that knew me before I married Traci know how true that is. I was a spoiled, selfish, doofus most of the time. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a bad kid, I accepted Christ as my savior, I got good grades, respected others, did not get into trouble, etc., but I was not very generous and sympathetic.

Most people think this is ridiculous but we actually had a shopping list for our mate when we started dating.  Who does that? We did! Our lists were pretty tough lists. They did not include shallow things like: must be beautiful/handsome ( if that had been on Traci’s list, I would have never made the cut),  rich, have a nice car, have good jobs, etc. They did have things like: must be a Christian, must want kids, must love family,  must not have any chemical addiction, must be generous, must participate in the one another's activities, must be faithful, and must have saved their self for their mate, etc. Traci had a similar list which was just as detailed and difficult to achieve. Both of us had items on our lists that were non negotiable! For instance, Christianity, non chemical addiction, and faithful were non negotiable for me.

As we got more serious, we shared our lists with one another and discussed why the items were important. This gave us a foundation and understanding for what was important to one another. Because of that, we knew what made each other happy and what we had to do to earn trust. It also made us trust one another because we knew what was expected. As Forrest Gump would say, “That is one less thing”

I believe some of the things that are missing from marriage these days are: trusting God to find the person that fulfills your shopping list (don’t settle for just anyone), being committed to real values, committing to one woman/man,  not being selfish,  communicating expectations of one another not masking problems with chemical addictions, and making God an integral part of you marriage. I also believe that if you would live with this person, you should be married. If you are not willing to commit to marriage, you should not be living with one another. I know this stuff may not be popular but this is called COMMITMENT. Being committed to your spouse is important just like being committed to God!

In my entire life, I have only known a handful of couples that really function as one. That is sad to me!

Because knowing Jesus was at the top of both of our lists, we never had to worry about basic breaches of our list because if you were faithful to Him, you would not violate any of our rules.

Faithfulness was and is something that has NEVER even been a thought that crossed our mind. We both appreciated a pretty/handsome face when we saw it but that was as far as it has ever gone. We have both worked, travelled, had business relationships, etc. with the opposite sex most of our lives and many of them have become great friends, even like family. Not once have either of us been tempted by that. We would never allow ourselves to get in a compromising situation because of our respect for one another and our relationship with God! We also have never let chemical addictions alter our self control. That is one reason we have never partaken of any alcohol or drugs because we always want to operate with all of our decision making ability intact.

Starting from our third date, we started planning our life together. As we were planning, we did not have a clue how crazy our life would be. We DID know that we were going to be married for life!

Traci and my relationship has grown to the point that we know what one another is thinking before we say anything. We sometimes even laugh about something that is on our mind at the same time, without even saying anything.

Like all couples, we have had many so called "problems" but none of them took away our core values  or love for one another. The bottom line is that my Sunshine and I were meant to be together. We were put together by God to execute the plan he had for us. I won't bore you with all the things we did wrong and the troubles that we had, but compared to other couples we knew, our troubles were nothing. Most of them centered around money rather than anything between us. Most of those money problems were either caused by my appetite for mechanical things and my lack of being generous enough with others. Traci was able to fix the generosity issue but she never really conquered my needing mechanical things.  Over the years Traci taught me that when you are generous, the money comes back ten fold. I am terrible at saving money but have always been pretty good at making money, ha!

God gave us the ability to be thinkers and hard workers so we (with God’s help) always seemed to fix the money problems. We lived week by week like most people for years. We managed to put our girls through college and take care of Mom and Dad for many years so we have no regrets. We built a business that not only supports us but supports a bunch of other people as well.

As we matured in our Christianity we were able to see God’s works in everything that we did. As we saw more clearly the blessings were more and more amazing! Things that once seemed like problems were simply guiding Traci and I on our pathway created by God. Even having two floods in two homes, in two years was just a little nudge by God to look for our forever home. We would have never done that without his nudge!

Our lives today are not simple but we turn over most of our worries to God. He is much better at dealing with them. Traci and I talk a lot about the miracles in our lives and most of the time we feel somewhat guilty for having such a good life. We see some of our friends and family struggling with problems much greater that ours and realize what God does for us! We wish we could take away the pain that our loved ones have but we can’t. We pray for them all the time but sometimes it seems unfair! We do know that God will get them through their troubles if they give Him the power!

What we do realize is that we nor anyone else is not worthy of the blessings that He gives us! We do our best but we all fall short, period! If we give him the power and follow his lead, he will make our lives better.  The more we give Him, the more power he has. That doesn’t mean that the outcome looks like what you think it should be. But rest assured, the outcome is just a small piece of an overall plan that will be clearer as it plays out. Everyone’s plan is different (ours certainly is) and is tailored to us. Some people are very strong and can take brutal situations. Some people are generous and He provides for them. Some people have terrible sicknesses and witness to doctors, nurses, other patients, etc. Some people can dedicate time help others physically. Each of us has our role, we just need to recognize that and do it the way Jesus would have us do it! If you think about others, it gets your mind off of you own problems. Humans always feel better when they are doing things for others. That is by design. When you only think about yourself, your problems seem bigger. I know that, I have been there!

Traci and I have had one heck of a ride from being a mechanic and an administrative assistant to being the co-owners of a business built by God”s hands to be a ministry to it’s employees and it’s customers. We have the most wonderful business partner that is more like our son than a partner.  Our business belongs to God and all we try to do is not screw up his plan!

We are not worthy of his blessings but we will keep trying to do better and learn each day how to be better.

Click on the Blog Archive hierarchy on the right hand side to see my posts in order. The ones at the bottom are the newest posts.

Or

Back to Home Page